my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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