I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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