It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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