Umm I'm too high to move.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
