he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Randomize
