Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
