Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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