I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
