So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
