and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
