I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
