he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
