I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Cold hands, warm shart.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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