HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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