you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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