new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
