when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
