You work out of a Hotel?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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