so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
