I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
