I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
