I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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