It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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