oh god the rape fog is back!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
