and you said cock pushups were impossible
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize