I hate your face
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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