So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
