Farmville is her only friend.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
