is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I got inside last night via doggy door
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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