i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
