I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
