home. puking in laundry basket.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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