Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize