Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
