1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Randomize
