The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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