i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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