She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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