You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I am available for nakedness
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
