people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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