Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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