You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
