sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
