I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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