So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
