She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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