bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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