What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
