how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
