I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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