The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
