he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
