Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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