my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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