well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
