Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
