i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
