The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
