Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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