Already got asked if we're dating
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
