she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
