I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
