I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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