Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
